After a really annoying, stressful, and downright nauseating weekend, I feel like a wittled down eraser. Between being stalked and harrassed, losing a place I had loved, breaking in a new system member and seeing my friends suffer, this has felt like an extremely exhausting week.

Im supposed to go ot today at around 11AM and it us currently 7AM. Ironically, my sleep has veen better since I stopped fighting my natural instincts and actually sleep when I'm tired instead of what I usually do. And thats trying to unsuccessfully relax in bed for 3 hours tossing and turning then getting up to do stuff befor finally ACTUALLY being sleepy.

Honestly, as of late I havent had as strong a desire to make more and more friends and connections like my usual social ~~butterfly~~ moth self. Instead I've felt a stronger pull to cultivate the people I already have. Part of this is my near constant loneliness has been fading a bit. Whether thats from healing from abandonment trauma or simply a result of appreciating my inner circle more, I'm also enjoying time by myself for once too!

It's surprising how pleasant life can be when you live for your own desires instead of what you think other people think you should do. It's a work-in-progress.